


prove to me i'm not gonna die alone

by Wyverwithy



Series: songs gone unsung [2]
Category: Tailchaser's Song - Tad Williams
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Canonical Character Death, Discussions of the Afterlife, Fear of Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Short One Shot, Worldbuilding, dying, kind of?? if you count comforting someone as they're dying lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26741983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wyverwithy/pseuds/Wyverwithy
Summary: Jumptall is dying, and has been for a long time. His last few minutes spent on earth, and he's not even above it to bid it farewell. But at least he has some friends to keep him company.
Series: songs gone unsung [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046587
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	prove to me i'm not gonna die alone

**Author's Note:**

> Death isn't really discussed in Tailchaser's Song, aside from a brief mention of their afterlife (the Fields Beyond), so I was like,,, how can I expand on this. and then I remembered that Jumptall dies and I can do something with that. and then I made myself tear up while writing this. whoops.

The silence over the chamber was deafening. The only sound that could be heard were Jumptall’s own ragged, shallow breaths and his heart thudding in his chest. Tailchaser and Pawgrip sat over him like sentinels. They seemed to be waiting for him to say something. Their mouths opened and closed like fish, desperate to break the quiet, but too anxious to interrupt. He would’ve laughed at the sight, maybe, a long time ago. Now it only filled him with a deepening sense of dread.

Who knew it would’ve ended like this?

“The pain is going to go away,” he said, ignoring how weak his voice was. Ignoring how the sound of it seemed to make his companions wince.

Pawgrip gave him a shaky smile at that. “I almost envy you.”

Jumptall grimaced. He coughed violently, choking on the dusty air that filled this godforsaken underworld. When his fit eased, he laid back, panting. “Is- is... it strange that... I’m afraid? The pain is… is going away, but I’m- I’m afraid. I’m, scared to... die.”

“The Folk always go down fighting,” Tailchaser murmured. He looked pained. “It’s Meerclar’s way.”

He laughed, raspy and humorless. “I’m… tired of fighting.”

“...I know. I’m sorry.”

A shadow passed over the chamber’s opening. An abrupt silence fell over them. Jumptall laid still, watching as the two toms stared owlishly at the entrance, hardly breathing. It felt like Eyes had passed before they relaxed with relieved sighs. Jumptall wanted to apologize--he was putting them in jeopardy, keeping them up past curfew. But when Tailchaser looked at him again, he could see frustrated determination in his gaze. They wouldn’t leave him here.

It was strange, to see the small ginger kitten who daydreamed more than he ate and sleep, looking so much older, a little bit wiser. Who could’ve predicted that the tom who was named for chasing after fantasies, would come to the heart of the earth and keep Jumptall company on his deathbed?

He didn’t understand how he still kept his spirit, here. It didn’t make sense. What hope was to be found here? He’d asked this a few times, and Tailchaser had looked at him and said, “Because giving up isn’t an option.”

Perhaps the clan Elders had been right in giving him his name. Jumptall had to admire his tenacity, even if he felt there was no use. They were all going to die here, just like so many others had.

The thought only reminded him of Earpoint and Streamhopper. Grief twinged in his chest. He swallowed thickly. “What… do you think happens, when we die here?”

“To the Fields Beyond, I imagine,” Pawgrip said. 

“Meerclar’s Eye can’t… can’t look here…” he rasped, tilting his head up to stare at the ceiling. “We aren’t meant to die… below the earth. The Folk were... borne from Her belly, the sky. I don’t… I don’t know if they’ll find our spirits.”

They had nothing to say to that. They knew it to be true. Jumptall dragged his gaze over to his paws, scabbed and covered in blood and mud. “To think, I will have died doing what Growlers do, and… I’ll be stuck wandering these tunnels as one.”

Tailchaser leaned down and touched his nose to his cheek. His whiskers brushed against Jumptall’s, shivering. “Never. You’ll be remembered for your bravery. I’ll- I’ll make sure of it.”

“ _What_ bravery?” he huffed. “I’ve… I’ve been scared, since my delegation started.”

“Weaker Folk would’ve died far sooner. That’s bravery, isn’t it? To survive?”

“...I wish I hadn’t.”

The orange tom sniffed. He could feel his hot breaths on his fur--a stark contrast to the constant chill of this place. Another weight rested on his flank, Pawgrip starting to groom his grimy pelt. Not to clean, but to comfort. 

Jumptall drew in a hoarse breath. His vision was starting to go. He could feel himself getting weaker, the cold seeping into his paws. He was trembling, he knew he was, and he hated how terrified he felt. It wouldn’t be long, now.

“Tailchaser?”

“Yes, Jumptall?”

He swallowed. Tried to clear the dirt from his dry throat, to no avail. When was the last time he’d had water? A proper meal? He couldn’t even remember what those were, anymore. He shut his eyes, summoned up the last threads of strength he had, and spoke, “Promise me, you’ll… you’ll dispose of my body.”

He could feel the tom flinch and recoil. He continued, “I don’t… want those… those _vermin_ to do it. I want… a burial, from a… another member of the Meeting Wall clan. It’s… it’s the only thing I ask. Please.”

He opened his eyes to find Tailchaser staring at him, eyes wide, ears lowered. “Of course.”

“Pawgrip?”

Pawgrip startled and looked up. “Yes?”

“You… you were a good friend to have, here,” he said quietly. “I’m… glad to- to have met you.”

The wiry gray tom gave him a shaky smile, sadness in his eyes. “And I, you. It’s a shame we had to meet in these circumstances. May we see each other again.”

He leaned down and pressed his nose to his. Jumptall’s chest ached. He pulled away, quivering, and laid his head back. It was getting harder to gather air into his lungs. He flexed his aching claws, choking out frightened sobs of laughter. “I’m- I’m scared.”

Tailchaser drew himself closer, resting his chin on his neck. Even that was starting to feel distant. “It’s okay. You’re not alone. It’s… it’s all gonna be okay.”

He continued speaking, soft and low, as he watched the life fade from the black-and-white tom’s eyes. It was physically painful to watch. They’d never been friends, a strange rivalry having been between them since they were kittens, but they’d never been enemies, either. To see someone from his childhood, a member of his clan, like this...

Tailchaser started mentally counting his breaths until Jumptall’s flanks grew still and he could no longer feel his pulse in his throat. When he pulled away, a hollow feeling seeped into his bones.

Jumptall was dead. He hadn’t deserved to die. Not like this.

“ _Mri'fa-o, cu’nre_ ,” he murmured hoarsely. “May the Lifegivers guide you.”

After Pawgrip whispered his own goodbye, the two cats lay curled around the body, keeping it hidden from Clawguard eyes. In the morning, Tailchaser would bury him in the corner of the chamber, out of sight, and say the prayers he’d heard the Elders give over burials when he was young. He just hoped, desperately, that it’d be enough to give his spirit the peace it deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> Mri'fa-o, goodnight/goodbye  
> cu'nre, friend
> 
> \--
> 
> I imagine dying in Vastnir is like. a terrible nightmare scenario. Because not only are you dying in one of the worst places you could ever imagine, your body's also probably going to be used for a demigod to lay on (and, in the future, to be used to make a monstrous hellhound). So asking to be buried in secret was probably commonplace among prisoners.
> 
> Also Pawgrip and Jumptall were friends because I said so


End file.
